Slangin in Berlin

April 28th, 2012:  Berlin, Germany

One of the things I've really enjoyed about being abroad is checking out the ads and what people are selling.  Some of these surely exist in the US, and they just seem funnier to me here.  Some of them are just downright ridiculous.

The first real commercial you see is ubiquitous as you walk through the city and cross the line of The Wall is for Capitalism and Democracy.  When you cross Berlin from the West Side to the East side, it becomes a real toilet.  It looks like Detroit.  There are bombed out buildings, graffiti and trash;  living and dead.  Anyone still subscribing to the Daily Worker needs to come walk the line here.  The debate is over, folks.

This cracked me up.  I have 177 days to get this shirt and a black body suit and
Halloween is done.  I hope it comes in bronze

Wigs

Rapists and race cars

This message is unclear.  I'd guess the image we're going for is "if you wanna fly, you need to go all in."  And that with Marlboro's, you'll be 'greater' which is what that arrow sign means.  I guess this guy didn't light up, because he is going down.  He is way, way <

No idea.  Not gonna try

Paid for by a bunch of fish hating cows

This joint inspired the seldom heard b-side to Lucy in the Sky with Diamond

Two and a half euro foot long just doesn't sound the same, right?
I'd like to think Jared would play in Berlin though

Alanis Morissette:  Going down in a theater!  The Berlin Zitadelle!

This is what Mila Kunis would look like if she botoxed the VX toxin that Stanley Goodspeed
confiscated from Ed Harris on The Rock.  Also, I think she's saying AIDS is romantic.  Either romance or AIDS must mean something different in German

I actually looked this up.  It says "Donate Potatoes to autistic kid"

Well I hope you have a big trunk.  Because I'm going to put my  bike in it

This guy is way more pissed about AIDS than botox Mila Kunis.  Again, not sure
if something is lost in translation.

If you need the wine when you get her into the apartment and show her that view
you're not worth your cork

Open to suggestion here

We thought this bar had darts, but this is just the name of the new Offspring album, which sucks

A metal bear is going to throw a huge paper mache sausage at you if you
 don't eat at the curry place underneath this tower

The memorial for the most daring, but ultimately stupid, attempt to get over the wall

You know the hardest part about driving this car?

knowing that this is the upgrade

Damn hard way to make a living in Berlin when its 80 degrees.   Maybe I just dont see them, but do we have a lot of mascots dressed up at major American moments?  There are at least 5 Mickey Mouses at every attraction I've been to in Europe.  There aren't even that many in Disney

This was grafitti on the wall that was salvaged (that's a 'the sugarhill gang is so old...' joke)

How old was Scarlett Johanson when they made this movie  if she fit on Jason Bourne's shoulders?

Yellow Ledbetter, in German, is a veal cutlet pounded paper thin with a mallet and fried in beer.