America..F ya

Least you think I forget my allegiances, I went to the bar across the street and made a proper Brit crack me open a tall Budweiser, which as far as I know, is the only King in this matriarchy they call the United Kingdom. I then left him a healthy tip just he knew who he was dealing with

Tax this

This is the first time since I came over I missed the States. Patriots Day is one of my favorite days of the year, and its especially upsetting to see that its 88 degrees in Boston today.  My roofdeck would have been ideal for a little post-marathon grilling.  If you've never made it to the Fenway area for this most holy of all Mass holidays...I assure you you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...juxtaposed nicely with a whole lot of superbly conditioned super humans who have temporary personality disorders that lead them to believe its a good idea to run 26.2 miles at a clip on an otherwise amazing Monday afternoon.

Few questions I have for these people:

• You know the Sox are on at 11, and the bars are open at 9, right?
• You know what happened to the first guy who ran a marathon, right?

The marathon also inevitably leads to the spring emergence of one of my least favorite people, and my blog debut of a new segment:

You know how I know we'll never go out for a beer?*

Here goes:  You know how I know know we'll never go out for a beer?  Because you're out for a run, wearing your 2012 Boston Marathon jacket the day after the 2012 Boston Marathon.  This means either:

• You bought the jacket from a guy who just ran the marathon and was too tired to walk home and lost his Charlie Card, or...
• The temporary personality disorder that caused you to run the Boston Marathon isn't temporary.

Thanks for bearing with me, my fellow Americans.

Easier said than done, Marquis de Granby...

I also note that I got a roommate tonight.  A woman from Google Ann Arbor is staying in the Blue Room.  She was very cool and, as a Mass native, convinced me to go out for this Patriot style lager

*Patent pending...but I am taking suggestions for future issues of YKHIKWNGOFAB